So there I am today at Fred Meyer, perusing the kiddie sales clothes because I’m a cheap bitch frugal consumer, when I notice this among the girls socks and panties: Now let’s just for a moment forget the fact that this rack — fine, I went there — is standing precisely between the infant and…
Ortliebs, meet my friend RALPH.
Just look at this face: Precious, right? So trusting, so innocent, yes? Because that’s the face that over the course of a single week laid waste to four generations of family, a week that will heretofore live in infamy as Ortlieb Annual Family Reunion: VomitCon ’08.
In which Nintendo calls us old AND fat
The day it came on the market in 2006, and through cravenly nepotistic means, Michael had a Wii. In the two years since, we’ve both enjoyed the novelty, silliness and challenge of the games, and if I had to describe the entire Wii system in one word, that word would be “adorable.” But you, Wii…
We’re calling her Mirena
A few weeks ago, I went to bed a normal human and woke up an anatomical freak. Because there I was, lying flat on my back, and one side of my stomach was literally an inch higher than the other. Junior scientist that I am, I immediately began gathering observable and empirical data on the…