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  • Author: Tracy

Does this fungus make me look easy?

For Christmas, Daron got me a head-smackingly freaky present: the gift of germinated spores. I don’t know exactly what about me specifically said “fungus” in the holiday season, only that for the next month or two I was nurturing that ugly blob of gestational medium like a baby goddam bird. Until, freaking FINALLY, it started…

Way of the Tim Gunn

Not to put too fine a point on it, but Tim Gunn changed my life. While I’ve adored Tim’s hardworking, asexual, fretting-aunt aesthetic for years on “Project Runway,” it wasn’t until the debut some months back of “Guide to Style” that I accepted Tim Gunn into my heart as my personal lord and saviour. And…

Vashon, Vash-off

Grammy and the girls and I took a scouting expedition to Vashon Island as a potential place for the folks to settle once they’s all relocated here in a year or two, and also as a possibility for Mike and I once the niblets hit school-age. The ferry ride? “Wawa!!!” A huge hit, and only…

Miss Misery

For the past 10 days or so, we the members of Team Glisson-Ortlieb have been engaged in a delightful yet spirited round of Bacteria Pong. Grammy got the viral ball rolling, deftly passing off to Eliot and Mama, who angrily spiked to Dada. Eliot then executed an unexpected hand-off to Nola, who regifted Mama AND…

Clinical regression

We expected to deal with some… issues from Eliot after Nola dropped — you know, your garden-variety jealousy, attention-seeking, aggravated fratricide strain of concerns. Mike and his brother are 15 months apart, so he had a little insight into the older-sibling mind, and according to him, this mind is exclusively dedicated to the art of…

Dear Odious Zoo Mommy:

I get it, I really do. Like you, I have a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old. While an otherwise spectacular January day, it’s minus-goddam-fahrenheit out, and until America kicks its oil dependency by finally discovering a means to harness toddler energy, you and I must let them run and scream themselves stupid in indoor clusterfucks like…

Talk to me

Michael has reportedly resolved the Comment problem that’s plagued the site since its nascence. So please, by all means, comment away, unless you’re one of Mike’s batshit exes because I DO NOT SPEAK NEW AGE. (Erm, Goddess bless!)