Lord but I could while away the hours on my new favorite parody site, Dickipedia. If the entries don’t make you snork Coke through your nose while also getting these writers a book deal, I’ll give you a full refund.
Hey, at least it was unused
Something makes me think the baby latch on the bathroom cabinet is broken. Either that, or Nola believes that when it comes to unwinding at the end of a day, nothing compares to the taste, texture and aroma of a smooooooth Playtex Gentle Glide.
Worlds are colliding!!
In the first days of a relationship — at least the kind that causes you to spend every breathing second with each other and your friends to roll their eyes you nauseating tards — the disparate parts of a couple’s lives will quickly merge. For Mike and I, those parts were mostly our genitals. On the…
Right after I floss the dog’s teeth with this C-note
I’ve never worked in marketing, so my grasp of direct mail optimization is, at best, layperson: somewhere, my name and address have been coded into a database indicating that I purchased X or contributed to Y, thereby indicating I might want to throw money at Z. While mailing list sellers and database analysts rake in…
Babies, balloons, BIRTHDAY CAAAAAAKE!
Inexplicably, an entire year has passed since Michael raced me to Swedish Medical Center for the delivery of Nola Faye Glisson Ortlieb. The final weeks of labor had been made excruciating by a pinched sciatic nerve — weeks in which even taking a few steps would draw stinging tears, and in which a waiting room…
Amazon, still rockin’ out with it’s stock out
Just when you think Amazon has nothing new to add to the online shopping experience, they roll out a feature that allows you to add merchandise from ANY web site to your Amazon Wish List with a mere button-click from your toolbar. FINALLY, a birthday with the guaranteed gifts of premium vodka and bottomless potato…