That was one of George Carlin’s planned epitaphs, and it’s heartening to see all of Ballard is in mourning: His was the rare mind clever and adept enough to make even atheism funny. Thanks for this, George, and R.I.P.:
Ortliebs, meet my friend RALPH.
Just look at this face: Precious, right? So trusting, so innocent, yes? Because that’s the face that over the course of a single week laid waste to four generations of family, a week that will heretofore live in infamy as Ortlieb Annual Family Reunion: VomitCon ’08.
My own private Guadalcanal
This Friday, we leave for the annual Ortlieb family reunion, scheduled this year for the North Carolina coast. The extended Ortliebs are smart, funny, easy-going and damned good looking, and I expect nothing less than an amazing, relaxing week. Because after the past two weeks, I damn well deserve it. By default, I’m in charge…
Misjudging: it’s complicated
More often than not, “celebreality” programming elicits little more than my schadenfreude: the vapidity, the shallowness, the disconnect from the real world by opportunity-rich adults never fails to delight and depress me. And Paris? Nick and Jessica? Britney and Kevin? Dina Lohan? I AM LOOKING AT YOU. (You too, Anna Nicole, but grave-dancing is just…
In which Nintendo calls us old AND fat
The day it came on the market in 2006, and through cravenly nepotistic means, Michael had a Wii. In the two years since, we’ve both enjoyed the novelty, silliness and challenge of the games, and if I had to describe the entire Wii system in one word, that word would be “adorable.” But you, Wii…
Because the Patriot Act SAYS I can.
Nola’s living in the basement. This isn’t optimal, but her sleep schedule doesn’t yet match Eliot’s, and the basement felt less “DSHS-anonymous-tipline” than the garage. Also, we kind of got over the Preciously Detailed Nursery with the first one, because it turns out babies are tiny design- and color-wheel-oblivious ingrates, and because you get over…
End Times: Sign 38
A high school friend of mine married a guy who gave her a vacuum for her birthday and a washer/dryer for Christmas. Whereas my response would have been to throw a load of laundry at his head while screaming that his unsentimental ass best get Hooverin’, she was thrilled with his gifts of household appliances,…