The Co-Sleeper is leaving today. This should be a good thing, as the last time I saw it, I was pretty sure I wanted to hurl it down a staircase before kicking it into a crumpled beige wad. Instead, I just want to climb into a vodka tonic and have a good cry. Historically, I’m…
Tourists in our own town
Or at least that was the idea when, for a joint Mother’s Day/Michael’s birthday present, we enlisted Grammy and Papa for overnight girl-sitting and booked a room downtown at the W. We’d check in early, wander through the Market, do a little shopping, duck in somewhere for cocktails, languish over dinner at a hot new…
Mommy’s little neologist
I absolutely love the English language: etymology, slang, puns, homonyms — all the quirks and cultural nuance that make ESL students think our Anglo-Saxon forebears were inbred jesters slopped up on mead. So I’m especially enjoying English now as Eliot tries to wrap her chubby fists (and uncooperative tongue) around it. At 28 months, the…
An evening with Charlize and Stuart
There are some swell perks to Michael’s job at IMDb, and but one of them is an inexhaustible supply of all things movie-related: tickets, DVDs, merchandising, what have you. And while we rarely take advantage of the offerings, this year we decided to shoehorn our butts off the couch, wrangle some babysitters and attend the…
The reason they will never meet that tool “Barney”
You know when Jesus knocks at your door to deliver Christmas, a baby chimpanzee and a tray of candy-sprinkled vodka pops? That’s what it’s like to find a brand new episode of “Yo Gabba Gabba” on TiVo, and to discover that episode features THE SHINS.
That’s right, Utah, I am STILL pissed.
This morning, my friend Bryan sent me a link about the Utah newspaper at which we briefly worked together as reporters. Like me, Bryan now lives in Seattle. Like me, Bryan had followed his heart to Salt Lake only to have it promptly pounded into a stain, after which we respectively found ourselves friend- and…
Beer taste, champagne budget
A few years back, my parents decided retirement sounded like a swell change, and moved permanently from the bubbalopolis of Jacksonville, FL, to their weekend lake place in Salt Springs. I’d call Salt Springs “out in the sticks,” but it’s more like if the sticks had backwaters that secluded a moss-choked armpit. How they even…
Daily cavity
Little girls, an organic vegetable garden, and a Seattle weekend that demanded dusting off the pool. Gallery after the jump.
We’re calling her Mirena
A few weeks ago, I went to bed a normal human and woke up an anatomical freak. Because there I was, lying flat on my back, and one side of my stomach was literally an inch higher than the other. Junior scientist that I am, I immediately began gathering observable and empirical data on the…
Live nude Ballard
Sometimes I get dressed in the bedroom. This is as uneventful as it sounds, unless Michael happens past, in which case he launches himself over the bed to close the blinds that last quarter-inch lest a glimpse of my teacup boobies scorch the retinas of a passerby. Now, our bedroom is on the street side…