Five documented days of Amanda’s visit — now minus the profanity! — following the jump.
The evidence of Amanda’s visit
Apparently, Mandy occasionally reads the site. Also, these items were procured only after Mandy had intricately conveyed to the salesgirls my own interpretation of Eau de Brown Sugar & Fig, eliciting an, “Ooooh, it smells exactly like that!” and a promise to forward said improved description on to corporate. (In related news, two SLC-based Bath…
You can take the man out of Berkeley…
We’re scheduled for dinner with one of Michael’s co-workers, and while the weather looks a little sketchy to me, Mike insists it’s just a few blocks away, and we should really walk instead. Now there are a few things about which Mike is completely oblivious, and one of them is weather patterns, and another is…
Babysitter = knuckle-walker
All those months of pregnancy give you a surplus of time to think about the kind of parent you’ll be, time you’ll instead squander on sleep, “Monk” reruns, and why your partner failed to grab hot mustard with the Chinese takeout, because he knows you always take hot mustard with your egg rolls, but no…
Cribs
Given our largely improvisational, seat-of-the-pants approach to existence, Michael and I are surprisingly skilled at planning things: fun crap like parties and vacations, long-term projects like getting Amazon to throw some partner benefits my way, even bonerkillers like how to pay for large unexpected expenses. (And yes, Moses, I am looking at your bionic knee,…
Shameless product placement
For the past few months, I’ve been obsessing on a Bath & Body Works product. I’ve never bought anything from B&BW, but there was something about their Brown Sugar & Fig Body Butter that compelled me to throw fourteen bucks at a salesgirl, speed home and butter myself up. And ooooh, the fresh creamery-butter goodness….
One thing about her that both bounces AND behaves.
Shortly after her bath last night, I put Eliot to bed, her hair still scalp-glued wet. Twelve hours later, she bounced outta the sack looking like a Frederic Fekkai ad: These are some superior genes at work, folks. Because if I dared to sleep with even imperceptibly damp hair, I’d totally roll out of bed…
Sadly, still no Evite “chasing the dragon” template
Eliot is 2, which means that in addition to her full-time work of dancing, shrieking, tormenting Moses and framing her sister as the source of poop-stink, she is also busy working to master her native tongue. And by that, I literally mean her tongue, because that thing just refuses to let her speak English. Don’t…
True Tales of Instant Karma
More months ago than I can remember, I ran across a news item that the Dalai Lama would be visiting Seattle. And to guarantee an audience with His Holiness, I nobly surmounted death-defying obstacles of Himalayan scale — which is to say, I linked to the sponsoring organization, requested a few free tickets, clicked send,…
And then he broke our hearts.
For the past few months, I’ve been cultivating a perfectly life-like fantasy world in which today was not drawing inexorably closer. Despite the fundamental and quantifiable natures of time, April 9 was not to arrive, certainly not soon and quite possibly never. It stood so far ahead on the calendar that even a mention of…