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Medicinal

Five-year-old: “Mama, can I help open Ellie’s medicine?” Me: “Sure baby, just hold it upright. Don’t let it spill.” Five-year-old: “Mama, I can’t open it. The cap just spins!” Me: “Oh, right. That’s because it’s a childproof cap. And you’re a small child. Someday, when you’re an adult, you’ll be handed many keys to adulthood,…

Because it’s only forever

This week the ladies had class portraits taken at school — not individual portraits, which are taken at the beginning of the year, but a picture of the entire class with the teacher, and which are infinitely cooler than the ones taken when we were kids because a) they’re digital (meaning most of the kids…

Sweet, funny Valentines.

The lesser kid holidays are always the best: painting our Halloween faces, dyeing Easter eggs, toasting with Jameson minis for St. Pat’s. And on V-Day, it’s always something fun to wear, a toy, and something the Sugar Nazi in me is certain, certain will be the gateway treat to dental retardation. (This year, a candy…

And a very merry

It’s merely the afternoon of Christmas Eve, and we are, incomprehensibly, done: presents are wrapped, cornbread is baked in preparation for tomorrow’s oyster dressing, gifts have been shipped and (nick-of-time) received, charity undertaken. I can’t believe there’s time for the luxury to write, to cut out more cookies with small floured hands, to lay with…

Swine flu changed everything

When it comes to flu shots, as parents, Michael and I are THOSE PEOPLE: the ones who refuse to immunize their children. Now granted, we’re not THOSE PEOPLE, the whole hog, total anti-vaccination nutjobs who think an MMR is behind autism and back fat and low credit scores, or that the Hep B immunization is…

My own private Guadalcanal

This Friday, we leave for the annual Ortlieb family reunion, scheduled this year for the North Carolina coast. The extended Ortliebs are smart, funny, easy-going and damned good looking, and I expect nothing less than an amazing, relaxing week. Because after the past two weeks, I damn well deserve it. By default, I’m in charge…

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