House of Clams — The new home of tracyglisson.com

On balance

October 6, 2009

Me: So you know how last week we had that talk about how I need to take better care of myself, and part of that was taking at least one night off a week for myself?
Mike: Jesus, do I ever.
Me: Hard to forget, right? What with you just going to a little after-work happy hour [...]

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

Ladies, kindly STFU already.

September 26, 2009

As most people close to me know, I have a verrrry testy relationship with marriage. Some aspects of deeply trouble me: its religious foundations, its patriarchal history of a woman being ceded by one man to another, even — I’ll admit it — its permanence. For me, marriage represents a certain end to a narrative [...]

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

And so summer ends.

September 17, 2009

I can’t really say that I knew Celeste, not like everyone else did.

Share and Enjoy:

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

Whoever said getting there was half the fun had a transporter

September 10, 2009

Last week Mike and I finally got OFF our collective asses and decided to spend a little time ON ‘em: a week on the beach, just us and the girls renting a cottage on the rugged, majestic Oregon Coast. It was the perfect getaway: for weeks, I’d envisioned our sun-washed days of building sandcastles and [...]

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

Tink’s Box

August 25, 2009

As any new parent knows, a volume switch on a toy is your best friend, because musical/speaking childrens’ toys are categorically obnoxious and the sole variation in how desperately a toy makes you want to jam an ice pick in your brain is how SCREAMINGLY it wails the alphabet, or “Old MacDonald,” (and Christ, do [...]

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

All these years of toil and typing my fingers to bloody nubs, and FINALLY some solid data of my interwebs stardom!

August 17, 2009

Oh, Google Analytics, do you never cease to amuse?
(PS: Seriously, Mike, all you had to do was come upstairs and ask.)
(PPS: For the record, the only “naked” pics of me are a few topless sunbathing shots taken by assorted boyfriends on assorted foreign beaches. Then again, I’m drunk and stupid often enough that by this [...]

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

Why breeding shouldn’t be permitted without a license, Part 38

August 11, 2009

It was a gorgeous day at Woodland Park Zoo, and by gorgeous I mean cool and overcast and threatening just enough rain today to make it feel like we had the whole damn place to ourselves, and that’s saying an awful lot on a summer day.
Even better? As soon as we walked into the west [...]

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

About that little blip where I was gone for six months.

August 6, 2009

So, erm, YEAH. Apparently you noticed (hi, Mom!). And maybe even punished me (sorry, BlogHer ads team!). And I swear I wasn’t even blackout drunk for most of the entirety of a single, solitary day of it.
In fact, during a single month of it, I accomplished an Amazing Goddamned Thing: I wrote a 52,500-word novel [...]

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

I totally would’ve crashed this wedding

August 2, 2009

A million years ago when I started this half-assed blog, my friend Jillian told me about her friend Becky, who not only liked this lipsticked porker but actually subscribed.
“She’s married, and she lives in Portland, and she doesn’t have kids but says if she did, she’d raise them with the exact kind of mindset you [...]

Share and Enjoy:

Read the full article →

Crap that scares the crap out of me

July 30, 2009

So there I am today at Fred Meyer, perusing the kiddie sales clothes because I’m a cheap bitch frugal consumer, when I notice this among the girls socks and panties:

Now let’s just for a moment forget the fact that this rack — fine, I went there — is standing precisely between the infant and toddler [...]

Share and Enjoy: