Wow, I’ll bet your MIL was PISSED!! The TOILET!! And I thought *I* was unsentimental!! (Right, like the trash can at a salon’s a lot more sacred. Even worse? I secretly go there because Ellie gets these awful dreadlocks in one spot in back that I CAN. NOT. UNTANGLE. So basically I throw 20 bucks at a stylist to COMB MY KID’S HAIR. Yep, Mother of the Fucking Year, right there.)

Sorry, “Nola Faye’s First Haircut” was deleted at 10:02:04 Sat Oct 24, 2009. We have no more information about it on our mainframe or elsewhere.

I feel like the Secret Service just casually bitch slapped me and then acted like I never asked the question in the first place. As I gingerly rub the side of my face and the hand print on my cheek starts to pink up.

I can totally relate to the first child obsession of getting it right. Although my, um, maternal instincts have always run on a quarter-tank down to fumes. I enjoyed her of course but I did want to rush kid one through every stage.

And I’ll share a tidbit that not everyone finds normal or natural. I trimmed kid one’s hair right from the start. The first time we were standing in the bathroom so I tossed the locks into the toilet and flushed them away.

My MIL was aghast when she heard about that later.

And I did enjoy more of the moments of babyhood with kid two but I still wanted her through it all.

I did live even more in the moment with kid three but I still wanted her through the baby stuff. Gah, I hate bottles and diapers and the diaper genie, oh my!

And yes, I still trim their hair.

But now I just sweep it into the trash can.