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Not available in your grocer’s deli

Michael: “What the hell is ‘v-a-j’?” Me: “Stop playing dumb, you can’t expect a five-year-old to be a perfect speller. Obviously, she’s asking for some old vadge.” Michael: “I’m really disappointed in that spelling.” Me: “Frankly, I’d always thought fresh was preferred. I’m just relieved to discover there’s a market for the well-seasoned vadge. Tick-tock,…