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Clinical regression

We expected to deal with some… issues from Eliot after Nola dropped — you know, your garden-variety jealousy, attention-seeking, aggravated fratricide strain of concerns. Mike and his brother are 15 months apart, so he had a little insight into the older-sibling mind, and according to him, this mind is exclusively dedicated to the art of…

Dear Odious Zoo Mommy:

I get it, I really do. Like you, I have a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old. While an otherwise spectacular January day, it’s minus-goddam-fahrenheit out, and until America kicks its oil dependency by finally discovering a means to harness toddler energy, you and I must let them run and scream themselves stupid in indoor clusterfucks like…

Talk to me

Michael has reportedly resolved the Comment problem that’s plagued the site since its nascence. So please, by all means, comment away, unless you’re one of Mike’s batshit exes because I DO NOT SPEAK NEW AGE. (Erm, Goddess bless!)

Post-coital cooing

Him: “Oww! Ow! My ass!” Me: “What? Grab your ass?” Him: “Cramp! Ass cramp!” “So get off me! Stretch it out!” “Shit! Dammit! You need anything?” “Hand towel?” “Fuck! Can’t… make it… to bathroom!” “Just hand me something out of one of those bags — it’s old baby clothes I’m donating.” (Rummages through bags.) “Here!”…

First they came for the Denny’s…

Hot on the heels of potentially positive developments on Sunset Bowl, the Ballard News-Tribune is reporting today that DWO, a California-based franchise that purchased the Ballard Denny’s last June, is anxious to re-open at the same location. Gene Erdman, director of human resources for DWO, contacted the News-Tribune early Monday, Jan. 14. “…DWO would welcome…

Getting thurr luurrn on.

The girls visit the Pacific Science Center in search of the ever-elusive 34th Annual Model Train Show. Michael wows us with his knowledge of modular and sectional layouts from “Z” to “G” scales, thus affirming his true genus as Dorkus Homunculus. More photos.

The most pretentious opening sentence yet

Between reminiscences of his days with Huxley and Burroughs, Timothy Leary and I had been debating the future of the written word. How exactly I ended up on Tim Leary’s terrace in Beverly Hills listening to first-hand tales of literary lions and admonished that processed sugar (was) a deadlier American addiction than any illegal substance…

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